Too soon to let your hair down?
Now I’ve worn a rather neat smig of a beard for the last 30 years and strange as it might seem, I’m not that attached to it. I’m a rather neat and tidy sort of person so it’s essentially a well-groomed goatee, that I don’t let get out of control. The problem with it, is that my beloved Jo couldn’t countenance me without it. She has never known me without a beard except in pictures, and I am probably safe in saying that she is rather fond of it, more so in that without it, I just wouldn’t be me to her, if you get me.
I first attempted to grow one when I was seventeen and I have destroyed those photos. It was one of those teenage, look at me I have facial hair therefore I’m a man, sort of things. Only, when you can actually see the distance between each hair on your face, you can’t strictly call that a beard. I let it be for a few years and then finally grew one while on holidays in Spain. It’s been there ever since with one brief attempt to lose it, which devastated my then young daughter, so I grew it back.
Because of the Covid-19 crises, I have been working from home for a week now and I have decided to give my face a break. Usually I shave my face each day apart from the goatee, as I need to look neat and tidy for my job. I trim and shape my little beard throughout each week and now that I have a moment where no one can see me, I’ve decided that my face needs a rest.
But there’s a problem. There are 2 problems actually. The first is not directly related to beards, but has relevance. I was due a haircut when the government decided to start shutting places down. My barber sensibly enough closed up for the duration and as a result, I’m getting a little quiff going on at the top of my head. It’s in-between at the minute – a little bit Sven Goran Erikson. Back when I was twenty it would have looked cool, and indeed it did, more Leif Garret back then, but at my age and with my current hair colour, soon it won’t be a good look, if it isn’t already too late.
The second problem is the fact that while I enjoy the break from the razor, I looked in the mirror this morning and between the hair and the beard, I am starting to get a whole Kenny Rogers vibe going on. Now there’s nothing wrong with Kenny, rest his soul, but when I caught myself singing Ruby as I sat at my desk this morning, I began to worry.
The coronavirus will have a lot of impact on our lives in all seriousness, but on a lighter note, it is having lesser, unintended consequences as it were. Of course I could always shave, but I rarely get the chance to leave my auld face alone. The follow-on problem for me will be when to stop. I mean I don’t want to go from Kenny Rogers to full blown ZZ Top and if you see me with a grey pony tail, please slap me…slap me hard… though maybe I could carry off a mun…STOP… you see what’s happening!
Let’s all hope for the sake of my reputation as a dapper dazzler, that this pandemic is over before such horror is unleashed into the world. I have visions of myself with mad, long hair on my face and head like the Count of Monte Cristo or Robinson Crusoe.
It might actually be better if I just go with the skinny jeans, no socks, hair in a mun with a braid in my beard look. At least then people will think I’m just a wa***r and not untidy.
Take care of yourselves my friends, don’t forget to wash, trim that beard, cut those toenails and if you are a man of a certain age like me, just remember, a crises of pandemic proportions is still no excuse for the Willie nelson look, unless your from Texas in which case knock yourself out. No offence to Willie, he could always swing the look, most people can’t. It’s a bit like the football jersey on older men with a certain shape that isn’t fooling anyone…you don’t now, nor did you ever, play for Real Madrid.
Me? I still trying to get past the Kenny Rogers issue. Now I’ve got Islands in the Stream bouncing around in my head and I have a facetime request from someone called D. Parton? Gotta go, there’s some Lady at he door telling me that we got tonight. I think she believes in me. She says her name’s Lucille and you know me I’m a bit of a gambler… and whether you are, or are not a Kenny Rogers fan, I suspect I owe you all an apology for that last paragraph… stay safe, stay inside…
You can find more details about Max Power’s books here : –
Universal book links