Strange though it sometimes seems I think we miss so much about ourselves that others see. Me- I’m a funny fecker (polite Irish version for the uninitiated ) for the most part, but I do carry a melancholy under my jacket, and I like to bring my jacket with me everywhere- just in case.
If we’re lucky I guess, we get to notice what we carry with us under our jackets. I was editing my latest book and I saw my melancholy. It wasn’t in your face but subtle – so subtle I nearly missed it and I realised how the idea of loss in all its forms has creeped past me into what I write.
Not that my books are sad – far from it. But be it loss of innocence, loss of courage, strength, love or something else precious, it is an integral part of what I write and I didn’t even notice.
So a sad anniversary passed for me this week and it helped me see the melancholy beneath my jacket as I re-read my latest book for the umpteenth time while editing. .. And do you know what? I think I’ll leave my jacket behind tomorrow. How about you ? What are you carrying around beneath your jacket, and can you leave it behind tomorrow?